I don’t want to be a hero.

  • KatyxoxoKatyxoxo
    • Newbie nurse
    • Tampa
    # 1 year, 8 months ago

    I don’t want to be a hero.

    I don’t want to be the one people look up to and applaud. I don’t want to receive the accolades and praise. I don’t want to wear the cape and save the day.

    I just want to do my job. I want to fulfill the oath I took on pinning day. I want to give of myself to the best of my ability. I want to use the knowledge and skills I’ve gained over the years to serve my community.

    But I want to do it safely. I want to do no harm. I want to “maintain and elevate the standard of my profession.”

    I’m scared. Scared for my patients, scared for my family, scared for my friends…and I’m scared for myself. I am torn in between being so thankful for my job and being hesitant to go to work for fear of what awaits me as soon as I walk in the door.

    I am a nurse, but I am a human being first and foremost. I am not an expendable resource. I am not superhuman.

    I am just one woman, working as a part of one team, trying my best to keep my head above water.

    I don’t want to be a hero. I just want to survive.

    • Moderator
    • FNP-C
    • Atlanta
    # 1 year, 8 months ago

    I don’t want to be a hero. I just want to survive


    • Registered Nurse
    • CA
    # 1 year, 8 months ago

    I think what bothers me beyond the obvious Covid situation, is that we have been doing this job for years and years. We have exposed ourselves to blood borne pathogens, flu, dangerous patients, verbal abuse by patients. We have always worked in stressful conditions. Yes, these conditions now are extraordinary. But I don’t feel like a hero. I feel like a person just doing their job in more challenging conditions. I have to pay my bills. I have no other choice. I feel like the adrenaline about healthcare workers is going to fade in time and we will be forgotten about again.

    # 1 year, 8 months ago

    I think we did sign up to be a part of a pandemic. At least in ER. I’ve trained for several, H1N1, Ebola, etc. They just never hit like this. What I DIDN’T sign up for is NO PPE to wear. Also after all this, we need to make sure the world hears we will not take their entitled, abusive treatment. Not after this.

    # 1 year, 8 months ago

    No one reasonably asks a fire fighter to go into a burning building without their gear or an oxygen tank. No one reasonably sends soldiers into battle without bullet proof vests. And yet they want us to do all of this without PPE…

    # 1 year, 8 months ago

    I couldnt agree with this more. It bothers me that it take a whole pandemic for people to realize the great work that nurses do. We arent heros, we are just doing our jobs just like we do everyother day. Dont make us out to be something that we arent, just always provide us with this level of respect.

    # 1 year, 8 months ago

    Very eloquently put. This is literally exactly how I’ve been feeling and trying to explain to those around me, and failing to do so properly. I just wish I didn’t feel so damn guilty for putting my health and the health of my family first.

    • RN
    • queens, ny
    # 1 year, 8 months ago

    Same, sister–SAME!

    # 1 year, 8 months ago

    As a first responder the “hero” shit and constant thank you for what you do makes me throw up in my mouth. I know people mean well, and i respond politely, but I’m not a hero. It’s my job and I no more deserve an award for it than the cashier at Walmart. I don’t need thanked for doing what I am literally supposed to do, and I definitely don’t wanna be congratulated at someone else’s expense.

    # 1 year, 8 months ago

    I love this post!

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